I bought a terrible bunk! It is comfortable and so on, but I have nightmares every night. What a nightmare! I cannot get any sleep. Fortunately (?), these are not dreams with Freddy Kruger or vampires, but such situational nightmares.

Luckily, tomorrow we will go to the lamb and sheep for new year’s eve, so maybe I will somehow get some decent sleep.

On december 28, Sweden introduced mandatory tests for covid-19 for people coming in. A year ago, they were lashed for inaction, now they start to protect themselves quickly. On Tuesday, lots of cars were reportedly turned back on this famous bridge connecting Malmo with Copenhagen, because people did not have test certificates. The funny thing is that when Swedes come home, they do not have to test themselves. They promise to check their health with home methods … at home. I also bought a few tests for my own use. I am going to play doctor and slutty nurse game.

The Swedish government allows its people to expose people on the plane, airport, taxi, bus, and (on the other hand) makes tourists check themselves. A strange country, strange.

I am sitting at the airport and waiting for my flight to Malmö. I chillout in a lounge and chat with some lassies. Time passes nicely, the small talk with babes is on. About half past (three o’clock I think) i think that the boarding has already started. I walk briskly to the gate and i can see bars on the doors. I notice a bus packed with passengers behind the door. Panicky, i ask the stewardess if i still can be boarded. If the bus has left, then no way – the flight attendant replies. I breathe deeply with a huge relief and inform her that the bus is still out there. The lady promptly raises her hand and shouts to the driver – one more passenger!

I run back towards the lounge for my backpack, i race as fast as I can. With every step the lounge seems to be further and further. These 400 meters seems to be so far away – I say in my head. I am moving like “stepin fetchit”. Finally, I grab to my backpack, say goodbye to the ladies and start running again. This time to the gate.

And it is strange. It is the same route but, on my way back a “scenery” is totally different.

At last i can see the bus and the flight attendant waving to me to hurry up. However, to my surprise there is a slight abyss between us … there are 4 train tracks. Without thinking i decide to cross the iron road, not taking the designated way, as the sign says.

I am running, I am on time, I want to go in, but the flight attendant asks – do you have a coronavirus test?

I felt like i did during a regatta, when our steersman Peter did not say that he was making the maneuver and i was hit in the head with the boom, so hard that i almost fell out of the boat. So hard that my head ached for a few days. So hard that even mrs. G. herself ordered me to take a tomograph. That is how i ache now.

The flight attendant points a line of people going somewhere and starts explaining to me something. But i have already started chasing the passengers. They are going to take a test. I am running again. Of course, i am the last one and i do not see everyone anymore, only the slowpokes. Suddenly we enter the … starbucks cafe and it dazzles me! They have tests in here! Someone told me this once. The boy in front of me stops, he is stunned and uncertain. He calculates whether it is here or he should continue his run. In two shakes of a lamb’s tail i overtake him and grab THE LAST stick to swab my nose. I am not completely surprised that starbucks is … in Manhattan.

I wake up …