I will have to whip out Morrissey. And re-introduct his 2 CDs into my Great CDs Collection. Remember my post from this month about good hands? Yes, You Are the Quarry and Ringleader of the Tormentors were nomintated to leave my house.

But his new song with Thelma Houston is a real grower! Listen to it once, twice. Repeat, repeat and there you have it. Thelma Houston had a smash hit with Dont Leave Me This Way in … 1976. Wow. That was a good year indeed.

And bobby is a british english for a … policeman!? Oh my, i am doomed.

In poland we call a cop a dog. In france – a chicken. Cops are animals?

Bobby, dont you think they know?

Last night i mentioned a beautiful song from Alanis Morissette – You Owe Me Nothing In Return. Today, at 10.00 a.m. the tickets sale has started. Coincidence? I hesitate only for a sec. Alanis has been in my heart since her 3rd album called Jagged Little Pills. Although her latest two efforts have not been recorded for me. Her lyrics always make me think and go deep into dictionary. It is not easy for me to understand what the hell she is singing about.

How can you translate this

Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie

?

I bought the ticket. So what i am not a fan of her every song. She is my idol. It is once in a lifetime opportunity. Cannot wait ‘til 10/10! It is gonna be a magical saturday.

A month ago my dear friend Ula from the Garden State wrote that Alanis would be in the City. In the Garden. Good luck – i told her – tickets would be expensive. 250$ was something to think about. My friend gave up. I paid 220 … zlotys (56$). Isnt it ironic, dont you think?

Bobby, dont you think they know?

I must confess. I have sinned. Although no, i have not. If you are an atheist, you do not recognise sin, heaven or hell. In my case it is just my conscience bothering me.

Oh, i have just remembered my english class. One particular english class. A teacher was trying to teach us how to pronounce

Conscientiousness

She failed. Since then i have been avoiding that word. You will never hear it from me. Unless somebody gives me a lesson 🙂

I have broken the law! I have committed a crime! Petty crime, misdemeanor, thank god. I like the word „wrongdoing” because i really did wrong.

I have just robbed a grocery store of a lovely and sweet name Ladybug!

Bobby, dont you think they know?

Your honor, let me clear one thing – i was wearing no balaclava and my weapon of choice was my … brain.

I went shopping. Grocery. So it is simple, quick and … fun. I hate shopping for clothes. Food and home appliances – fun fun fun.

I am wandering among alleys. Not so many people so i can touch everything before putting it into my basket. Out of the blue, 4-pack of Guinness appears on the horizon. At a favourable price –  3,99 zl (1$)/ea. So 4-pack is not that expensive. Less than 4$. Guinness is the beer i love the most.

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Once, in London, i saw Gunniess and extra cold Guinnes. I approached the bartender  being kindly interested in saying:

– Hi mate, what’s the difference between Guinness and extra cold Guinness?

In UK everybody is a mate. In Australia too.

– extra cold is just … extra cold – i hear in reply

– oh, ok. Thanks mate

I was really disappointed. I was expecting a mystery, an intersting story behind that name. Extra cold is extra cold. I knew that!

Oh oh oh. One more „mate” anecdote. I am on a train from Bournemouth to London. A guy is passing a sitting girl and nudges her unwittingly.

– sorry mate – says the lad

– mate!? She’s a fucking girl! You should say „sorry miss”! – another guy intervenes

I love british english. Their accent, their phlegm, their sense of humour. I learned english mainly by myself. In 2005 i went to London for the very first time. For the first day and a half i could not understand what they were saying! I could guess only by the intonation whether i should reply „yes” or „no”.

Ok, let’s pick up where we left of. Bobby awaits.

In general i am not a fan of discounts like Ladybug. I can appreciate the wide range of products in their offer but there are always people with their carts filled-in above the rim. And there are always only couple of cash registers open. No „less than 10 items” fast lanes. But today? A god sent. 4 brand new self check-out stands!

Bobby, dont you think they know?

I run to the first open self cashbox and scan my goods. Lemon check, lime check, fish check, this and that – all check. A 4-pack of my precious beer has a bar code on that cardboard packaging. A single can of my nectar has a bar code too. I do not want to scan it 4 times. I scan it once from that cardboard thing. After the payment i leave the store jolly.

On my way back home i feel like reading. So I take my receipt out from my pocket and read. My heart stops beating. On that little piece of paper i see – Guinness 3,99 zl. I have robbed a grocery store! I am a shoplifter!

I bet i spill that beer or i choke on that beer. I will not be able to taste that heavenly beverage. Karma saw what i had done. I am a bad bad boy.

Bobby, dont you think they know?

As a punishment i washed the curtains.