Know me broken by my master

Teach thee on child, love hearafter

Play it!

I run. I run again. My dream was to run a marathon for my 40th birthday! No. Not A marathon. The New York Marathon! I dream big. Eventually i did two halves. In Poland. I told myself „Maciej, if you run a marathon, it has to be in less than 4 hours. Otherwise it is not an accomplishment”. So

 1 half + 1 half = 2 halves = marathon, right?

1h55m + 1h38m = less than 4 hours! Dream acomplished! It counts, right?

Before i run i usually have a struggle! My Left Shoulder Devil (LSD) discusses with my Right Shoulder Angel (RSA).

It goes like this:

RSA:  You need to run


RSA: Go out and run

LSD: I do not want to. It is too early. People can see me

RSA: go!

LSD: I do not want to dress

RSA: go, goddamnit!

I always have million resons not to run. Excuses, excuses. Always excuses.

Eventually i run. I am all dressed up and run. After a few seconds i have doubts:

– why did i go out running?

– it is boring!

– i am tired!

– i am gonna die here!

– i have gripes already!

After 20-30 minutes RSA is taking over!

– Oh wow!

– it is so nice

– i can run forever!

So i run! I talk to myself. I sing. Do some serious thinking about life. One time i run for 22 km. I got lost somewhere by the river and was attacked by a dog. I need to buy a dog whistle.

And when i run i create my new posts for my blog. Is it out of the boredom? Dunno. I was told that inteligent people never get bored. I run and i “write” amazing stories and deep-thought … thoughts. And i got worried pretty soon. Will i remember everything later when i pour my posts on the “paper”? Sadly no. Only shreds are remembered. Oh my. Nevertheless my blog is being read by people. That means it is not so bad.

My run ends at some interesting places. Recently it has been a near-by Italian restaurant. There is a waitress. Of course there has to be a girl. What/who else do you run for?

Beata plays nice music. And few times i heard this one particular song:

Into the flood again
Same old trip it was back then
So I made a big mistake
Try to see it once my way


I couldn’t take that tune out of my head! I thought i knew it! And me? The music freak didn’t know this one? Shame on me. I was too shy to hook that waitress. It also was too lame to say:

– hey Siri, who is singing that song

… because Siri doesn’t understand my awful English…often.

After few runnings i got my acts together, cleared my throat and asked Beata:

– excuse me miss, who is singing that song

We were „miss”and „mister” back then. Now i am on the first name terms with her.

– i do not know sir, i will go and check it if you like

– i like

after a while

– you know what? I didn’t get the name as it was weird. I took a photo. You can check it out.

So i took a glimpse at her phone. I didn’t have a clue who those artists were. However I didn’t want to look like an ignorant or be disrespectful. Hence i said:

– oh, thank you very much. I really appreciate it.

I only remembered Buzz Astral. But come on! Buzz Astral? Wasn’t he a hero from Toy Story series?

Broken i was. I didn’t have any courage to ask her again. I used Google instead. Quite desperatly. I wasn’t hoping for any real results. I just put „Buzz Astral so i made a big mistake”.

Oh my god! I got the result!

I remember grunge era! That was my time, my music. My older friends are so super excitied about prog rock explosion. I just witnessed the birth of grunge. And i liked it.

I was not a huge fan of Nirvana. Although i had to buy „Nevermind” album. I was much more into Pearl Jam!

Oh, I, oh, I’m still alive
Hey, I, oh, I’m still alive

I remeber purchasing Pearl Jam’s debut album „Ten”. On a cassette. I got my first CD player wee later. I got back home, played my new capture and went to the kitchen to wash dishes. My hands were in the soapy water. Bubbles were everywhere. My teenage thoughts were somewhere else.

Dishes were finished. So was the tape. I was numb! I was in disbelief. „What the hell was that? Have i just experienced a masterpiece?” I was awe! I listen to that album every now and then. I think it is one of the best albums ever.

And then it was Pearl Jam’s unplugged. Second best accoustic concert after Nirvana’s.

My girl, my girl
Don’t lie to me

Tell me where did you sleep last night
In the pines, in the pines
Where the sun don’t ever shine


I would never forget that shivering voice of Kurt’s.

I remember April of 1994. On the radio, after one of Pearl Jam’s songs a dj said: In Seattle they found the body of…

– oh God please don’t let this be Eddie Vedder!

…Kurt Cobain

I was shocked. My idol was gone. But i was happy it wasn’t Eddie.

I went to Seattle last year. To trace grunge.


That’s what i wrote on my Instagram:
Seattle,WA put a spell on me. I always wanted to visit this place because I am a huge fan of music. I loved grunge era! Well, there’s no Kurt’s grave (ashes scattered somewhere over the ocean). Yoko Ono of grunge sold the house. The new owners blocked the road as they had enough of tourists taking pics of Kurt Cobain’s house. Chris Cornell rests in LA. Andy Wood and Jimmy Hendrix’s graves are somewhere in WA. Layne Staley’s ashes are in private hands. I love The Killing tv series. The city looked so somber in that show. Rainy, dark, mysterious. Thank god now it’s warm and no rain. Exploring Seattle is so pleasant. You have old buildings, new buildings, market place, parks. Streets are not loaded with people or cars. Lazy Sunday on the west coast. Nice. I only didn’t enjoy Space Needle. I took only like 4 pics. The place is being renovated so you can see less than half the city. Well, the price went down from 29 to 26$. Still, it’s too much in my opinion. Oh. I liked my Hawaiian lunch in China Town! 

And apart from Nirvana and Pearl Jam, there were Mother Love Bone, Alice in Chains and Soundgarden.

I remember „Would?” song. I remember „Singles” movie. I bought the soundtrack which i didn’t like. Only one song was awesome! I watched the movie. I didn’t like it. I think i was too young to comprehend this movie. But the song!? Jesus, it is 25 years later and i still love this song.

And now, sitting in this Italian restaurant, i was like „Who the hell is singing that tune?!”.

I loved it from the very beginning. But later on i was dismayed. You don’t touch sanctity!

What do you think? Play the song agian if it’s over.